my rubbish insomniac outburst

Im a little out of sorts today; well, not just today. sort of outta the loop for the past couple of months. I can't seem to have things run smoothly. Something is definitely off. This cumbrous substance in our lives causes me to descend into the occasional melancholic rationalization. And getting through it everyday is an uphill battle.


The not so funny thing is, I have a knack for finding and bringing out the best in people and for some moronic reason, I can't bring out the best in me; which leads me into a conclusion: could it be that a desire of a company or the mere act of possessing one is what I/we need in order to transpire that distinctive essence of ourselves? OR is it up to us to free ourselves from inhibitions? who knows, maybe THAT element is just waiting to be discovered.


I know its not healthy to go back and start taking medications. I am just hoping that i can outthink this massive depression. I have been getting enough of it and i am sick of it all. Meanwhile I have to bask myself for changes, shun all the dreadful thoughts at the back of my mind and stay focused on the unravelling road ahead.

the bane of her existence

The room sat in perfect stillness.
But she keep spinning.. spinning into a whole new realm.

She tried to conjure up an image, but there was none.
What is taking him?

Strange thing.. TIME.
When needed most, the more it befriends,
or worse;
Weds selfishness.

Time was their enemy.
Time was all they needed.
Timing was everything; or so they say.

Perhaps love lost interest on her;
He lost interest on her.
Possibly.

He was all she wanted and she took him away.
She was to blame, was she not?

She cannot go beyond what is right,
Can she not?

- No, i am not sure. for i understand only a little.