a paradise to call her own

she had once thought of living a different world.
a place that is only and entirely herself;
she wanted blackness and silence
that made her believe would make her favor her quality of life.

She would give and give up everything
just to be in a sanatorium.
to live carelessly like a mental person
and behave freely like "it";
to be tranced furthermore ad infinitum lose lucidity;
for other people wouldn't care because she is after all,
afflicted with insanity.

she'd often wondered in between might have beens
she'd be curious in all manners why
for every fruit ripens,
for every road leads to anew;

she'd admire secrets in which
for every sunset comes the moonlight,
for every smile follows a river of tears,

she'd pondered randomly
for every flower blooms
for every cessation of a heartbeat starts with a breath and a cry,

she'd wondered the perplexities in which
for every kiss brings death.
she'd wondered
if she'll be held once more and be wrapped in his smell.